We are on what seems like the 100th straight day of snow mixed with grey clouds….but, the sun is now peeking through. Just enough light to get us through the chill.
I’ve been busy writing songs in my head this winter. Sarah Higgins and I are still trying to find a regular time to get those songs out of heads and into some actual soul-folk arrangements. Life and ice-storms and sinus infections make regular songwriting a bit of a challenge for the both of us.
We are excited to share that we were selected to perform at the Upper Arlington Music in the Parks summer series. We will be playing June 9th, 2011. More details to come. We will have a reunion of our live recording of “Alright”!
I’ve also become a bit of a crafter over the last six months. I don’t claim any special talent, but it has been a sweet pastime to sit down and make “pretties” to share with friends and family, and occasionally sell. Vintage buttons and lovely fabrics combine to make unique flowers for hair and sweaters and what-nots…nothing that the world “needs” in comparison to clean water and food and justice, but just a bit of beauty to add.
More than ever I feel the need to create beauty. When a week gets totally lost to the list of necessary but mundane errands and the juggling of five different schedules I know that a bit of who I am gets lost too. A bit dramatic, I suppose, but I do believe in a God that creates everything (everything!) with beauty. Some of that inclination is in us, and I believe we each have our own unique ways of letting it out. We need to let it out.
Maybe it ends up being a bit of a “use it or lose it” prospect…I know many people who would not ever consider themselves creative or as beauty-makers. But, I disagree. More likely is that they haven’t used what is in them for so long that it will have to be re-discovered and nursed back to life. But totally worth the rediscovering.
So, find your beauty. As my website gets retooled I’m amazed at people like Gary Jorgenson…who can read and write all this code that is absolutely baffling to me. He creates beauty by reading and writing this technological language. Hurrah for him (and me, since he creates things for tech-illiterates like me). My husband creates with his running plans- calculating and planning on the sun’s cycle of rising and falling coupled with his desire to be outside, running and thinking and praying. My kids create beauty with their elaborate stories. I’m always finding out what character I’m “playing” today…
Find your beauty. Spread it around. I guarantee you’ll have more joy than without it.
You know that time of morning, when you really need the mirror to get un-fogged so you can finish your hair or put eyeliner on the right part of the eye and it seems like it takes forever? And then, it seems like the mirror goes from cloudy to clear in a second? I had one of those moments for my brain about a month ago. I guess it is my version of “through a glass darkly”… because for a time the fog has lifted. So I’ve been part of worship and music pointed toward God consistently for half my life- which sounds really dramatic, but really, 15 years means something to a 31 year old. I’ve been in a lot of different situations- “congregations” big and small, churched and unchurched, american and rest-of-the-world-ian. I’ve learned under leaders good and not-so-good, I’ve followed terrible advice and ignored wise and sometimes, thankfully, done the opposite. But, I’ve found lately that I’m hungry…waiting for something else. And then I got this question in my head about a month ago. How do you know someone is a carpenter? Is someone a carpenter because they have tools? A. No, my 3 year old has tools. Definitely not building anything at this point. Is someone a carpenter because they know how to use tools? A. No. The gal who wrote the manual might never have actually used the tool. It’s not really a trick question. You know someone is a carpenter because they build things! And I had this little picture in my head of us worship leaders as little wanna-be carpenters. With really blinged out tool belts and nothing built. My little carpenter/lead worshipper analogy is opening up a load of questions in my heart. Hopefully the right ones. Have I been so focused on the tools of worship and ministry and arts that I’ve never really built much of anything? Does it please God that we can figure out exactly how to reach each demographic by style and volume and aesthetics and number of songs and racial diversity and coffee brands…but we might not ever actually know any of the people our tools are intended to build up? Is God maybe a bit tired of our talk about how to use worship and change worship and be cutting-edge and excellent and relevant and everything to everyone, because maybe He sees that our worship is usually not married to a life of justice? What would it look like if we stopped looking at our tools and started looking at what we are building? Are we building anything? Do our beautiful songs have the impact they could have if they were coming out of a life building into people- which we’re taught is the real church anyway? Amos 5 (Message version) I can’t stand your religious meetings. I’m fed up with your conferences and conventions. I want nothing to do with your religion projects, your pretentious slogans and goals. I’m sick of your fund-raising schemes, your public relations and image making.I’ve had all I can take of your noisy ego-music. When was the last time you sang to me? Do you know what I want? I want justice- oceans of it. I want fairness-rivers of it. That’s what I want. That’s all I want. Crap. That is just a terrifying scripture…and I want to live a life where that reprimand is not aimed at me. So for me part of living out justice in the world was adopting a child orphaned by the AIDS pandemic. The decision and the adoption were the easiest steps in comparison to the daily living out- parenting our child in a way that takes a totally different approach than my other 2 kids need- an approach and response and humility that takes everything I have and more (which is where that amazing grace stuff comes in). So, my true worship is only true when it is married to the real life of living out justice in the life of my child. Loving my son changes me, and humbles me, and burns out a lot of the ego that comes in too much time playing with shiny tools. When I fail I feel the falseness of worship offered from a heart that can’t even love my own family unconditionally- let alone God. Bummer, eh. Well, the good news is that what God wants is pretty simple! Not easy, but simple. So, I’m asking the questions of myself, and anyone else out there that wants to be asked. What are you building? Are your tools being used to build up people…spreading out justice and dishing out fairness? Does our life (all the hours outside the actual “ministry times”) match our musical worship? Do the situations and people that break the heart of Jesus break ours too? Do our songs come out of that? If not, how can we move that way? Is it good enough to just require musical ability and church membership from our lead worshippers… or do we need to literally marry justice and worship. Play in the worship band, serve soup in the soup kitchen. Sing in the choir, raise money to combat human trafficking. Be a christian rock star, use your platform for poverty initiatives.I’ve got a long way to go…but I feel like the fog has lifted for now and I’m ready to build something. I know there is a generation already working on the foundation…?